There is like absolutely nothing to report. Like nothing. I have made no money and spent no money. My food for a few days was provided by a hospital in the next county over I believe. Next is has been provided for a couple or maybe few days by my emergency contact. We are presently a family divided in many and all ways. Today I know my son is coming to see me. I can legally re enter my home, but my body and brain do not align and why is still a mystery.
I can only process facts right now. And to be honest to learn them one time of hearing or reading is impossible. I know my son is coming and I don’t want to trigger emergency and panic in him, so when my brain was tired of physical sleep, I saw that it was sometime around 4 a.m. I tried but it took me until 6 a.m. to get up. I used the bathroom, and someone had left nail polish. I eventually painted one nail and got dressed when it was dry. My son is coming. He wants to go to our legal home.
If you could complete this sentence what would you fill it in with? There is no right or wrong answer. My question is….fill in this Home is where the _________ is. Fill in the blank. Why did you pick that. What is the real answer to that?
This is day two that if no one is up too, I am free to explore and make mistakes without judgement. So I explore kitchen where I am with a walker. I use it when I have to and try not to if I feel brave. My eyes are tired, but I want to do this, I want to succeed. My writing is worse then it was, I feel like my nine year old does right now, about learning it feels like we are on a similar level of capabilities for different reasons. And right now the reason’s why don’t matter.
I want to see my son, and I am doing what I have to, to have minimal impact on him today, but I know I can’t save him from seeing real truths. I can’t control the outcome, only my effort. As a mother though, my brain says I have to provide for him and take care of him. He doesn’t want to couch surf anymore. A goal is to become financially independent of any man. My shop still has items available, I can’t say when we will add things, my husband will no longer be involved in my shop. It isn’t about providing for him anymore. It is about me finding ways to support myself and hopefully my children as able. There will be new and never before seen things, as we experiment with what we have the kids and I, and what we can do together. This learning process will be hard and triggering for the three of us, and until he decides to leave, my husband will be allowed to live in our legal residence. I have no legal reason or way to remove him right now, and we cannot really relocate right now.
A few items in the shop have new homes, and I will update that page as I can. Pictures are hard for me to do, so I am practicing as I can. You can follow on Instagram if you want.
Come find me,
Hiding in Plain Sight,
Masquerade Jade 😕