My life in boxes….

and bags? The house I am not thankful for is yellow and green. Compliments of my May medical conundrum, and a social worker (truly unsung heroes), steps that were been broken for two years, and dilapidated porches were recently braced, and the front entrance sports a gorgeous new ramp. It has been the most unstable, stable, environment I have ever been able to establish for my children. Relocation has not been necessary for a total of five years.

Progress via photo end of day 1!

In my previous marriage of eighteen years (ended in 2016, we literally moved 46 times (completely not fabricated.) When this dwelling place was first discovered, it was an answered prayer that boasted all the features I ever wanted. A dishwasher, working fire place and though it does not feature a garage, it has a carport, which = satisfaction. It was the first place my ex husband and I could find after facing an eviction and living with my best friend and her family for six months. There was no application fee, the landlord was aware of our previous eviction but satisfied that we had paid off the debt almost as soon as it was incurred. He simply let us move in the same night he showed it to us. He even allowed pets and waived the pet deposit fee.

This once dream/answered prayer house has featured it’s share of setbacks, a shared well with an adjoining property has equated a burned out well pump which = sporadic episodes of water loss. We have weathered multiple hurricanes and numerous power outages. We have a very large yard that is wonderful for bonfires, but terribly difficult to maintain. I have used up three lawn mowers, and one weed eater in seasons past. The toilets do not flush properly, and my landlord has hired very elderly or unreliable men to make plumbing repairs, so the floors are rotted under vinyl covering in sections of each bathroom. The master bath tub sports a separated pipe. The bathrooms ceilings feature a light coating of mold/mildew here and there, because I did not know I needed to keep a small fan running in there to prevent growth. Whenever this space was created there was no bathroom ventilation incorporated. A little over one year ago the septic started leaking clear, very smelly water and the owner refused to have the septic pumped, despite it being his very clearly stated responsibility. Annually we have had an a.c. problem at the start of the summer season. The landlord is financially well off yet, he doesn’t respond to my maintenance calls, or had advised me to handle repairs myself at my own cost. That was never a clause or condition in my lease. I refuse to make repairs without being compensated for cost on a property I do not own. I do not posses the tools or know how to even begin to accommodate such a request.

Fast forward to present day, and I am unsure I have an ounce of love left for this space, it is not a dream, and I am unexpectedly being set free from it. I have mixed emotions about being served an “Intent to Evict ” notice from my landlord, as he has decided (and rightfully so, due to his lack of maintenance) he no longer wants to be a landlord. He has asked us to depart in less than one week, and I have explained that is an insanely irrational request.

I won’t be sorry to say goodbye to a landlord that allowed us to go last month without the A.C. and a fridge for two weeks. We sweltered inside at 90 degrees. Requests to purchase or borrow a window a.c. unit were denied. The landlord became combative and belligerent with his words. Our disagreement heightened when I mentioned discussing my rights with legal aid. The landlord threatened everything from eviction, to charging me to the tune of $400 a month in back rent. I reminded him that I have a lease here which states my rent is clearly just $850.00 and never in 5 years has he presented another lease to me with a statement involving an increase in rent. Perhaps this spawned his appearance with the notice that my lease is month to month, and he is selling and wants possession of the premises. (To be clear my rent is paid up to date and current.)

This place holds immense intense memories. These walls contain for me a divorce from the husband I was married to when I moved in. I remarried my current husband here (and we had a sincere good/thrifty reception) but these walls also contain every fight we have ever had, and poor decision I have ever made, since my first divorce/separation in 2016. My current husband’s abuse has been exposed here, the dark paths I went down with him are emotionally contained inside these four walls. My daughter has cried, I have screamed, my son has self isolated, and beloved pets have died.

The highlights, though this wasn’t the most posh place in the world, was that we could actually live in it. When financial struggles emerged (especially during my transition from stay at home mom, to seeking employment after 12 years,) I was never evicted if I fell behind or was late with the rent, I simply paid a late charge. So many of my son’s friends have spent the night and felt free here, and I didn’t have to be insanely strict about messes made. There were some freedoms for us, inside these specific four walls despite their contradicting restraints.

When I remarried almost two years ago, the reception was beautiful and directly in the home! We set the oven on a timer and it cooked our reception dinner during our ceremony. Our living room and fire place boasted a balloon filled dance floor while our flat screen tv and laptop were the D.J. It has been a shelter that has weathered many literal and figurative storms for me and my two kids. It has been the only stable home my current husband has known, as in his adult life he used to move every literal 3 months. This dwelling has had it’s blessings and downfalls if I am honest. It is amazingly close to my best friend! Probably just 10 minutes and the kids schools are maybe a mile from us.

The current situation equates the feeling of another potentially shattered dream, and a new nightmare without an identifiable end. I have searched for rentals for at least the last year and half and for this reason or that I/we have not qualified to relocate. My current landlord is correct, there is no place with cheaper rent and anything for what I currently pay is alot smaller. I spent this past Friday and Saturday applying for and requesting information on rentals watching and waiting trying to be patient and faithful.

Progress via photo end of today! Unfiltered, and unedited, life is full of non Instagram moments!

I feel completely blindsided by my landlords request and while I wanted to move eventually, I wanted it to be in picture perfect circumstances, where I had grown this beautiful new profitable business, was healed in all of God’s beautiful glory, and had a great and grand new place with not a financial woe in site.

This is the perfect time to be reading my current online bible study book, “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way,” by Lysa Terkehurst. I purchased the book only not the study guide and I joined the Proverbs 31 group online for a free guided study. I have no idea how all of this unfolds. I am praying and waiting, and thankful for a best friend who picks up and drops off boxes, and helps me pack. She has been down this road of moving and packing with me always filling in where a spouse has not. I have some four legged creatures I would like to keep but that presents a new set of challenges when attempting to rent. I am scared for a new adventure I do not have well laid plans at this time, I will share with you in the days to come how I am coping…..

Every word of the first chapter I devoured as it feels like the author is speaking directly to me!

Much love and appreciation to anyone reading and please, subscribe and follow along, you will not be disappointed in my sharing of real life (better then day time drama tv life experiences.)

Hiding in Plain Sight,

Masquerade Jade :/

5 thoughts on “My life in boxes….

  1. Perhaps you can view this as an opportunity for a fresh start. Yeah, it’s not ideal and life is going to be complicated for a while. But all of this is what you decide to make of it. Moving will allow you and your children to bond together as a stronger family unit, while purging some of the unwanted baggage you were previously trapped under. This can be a great step towards your healing process. If you see it as a positive circumstance, it won’t feel like you’ve failed.

    There ate a lot of people loosing jobs and subsequently housing due to covid right now. You didn’t get evicted due to non-payment. That is a very positive this. Look for the benefits of this situation. I promise, it will make all the difference as you navigate through the tough moments. Think of it this way, the universe (or God) is giving you a nudge, trying to help guide you out of an unhealthy situation. You’d be very wise to listen to this guidance. After all, this may be the answer to your prayers for help.

    1. You make some very valid points, my apologies for such a late reply, but I have not had much internet access, and while waiting to be approved for a housing/financial coaching program, I have had to go back to delivering food and groceries, and the kids and I have indeed spent alot of time together. My husband is proclaiming heart change and getting some mentoring from at least one man in celebrate recovery. These next few weeks surely will be an adventure, and let the material purging begin! Emotional purging is a feat for a different day.

  2. Your style is very unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this site. Carolynn Glynn Genesia

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