Taking Time..

To catch up…. I wanted desperately to be able to embed this link image on the site, but I do not have permission to do so. Take the time to click on the link. This is the first time in a while, in my scramble to relocate and get life in order, that I have had a moment to watch the session 1 video for the Bible study by Lysa Terkeurst. I think the online group is wrapping up the final session of the study this week. (better late than never?!)

https://rali.io/player?id=tceav5ob8j33d6mv4njnreod1kxap1rh

My marriage is in the same trouble it has been for the last few months, years (the calculation of time doesn’t make it and better). We had a great two year anniversary dinner and very brief unity but that was seemingly fleeting. We are resigned to being divided spouses, with one wanting to separate and the other not. All this occurring after the usual episode of can’t be without you when you are gone, but I don’t know how to treat you well when you are here. I am trying to find a way to live in this environment, but still develop of healthy version of me. I want to embrace the challenges, hurt, and figure out how to carry on in the midst of disappointment.

I am taking time to stop spreading myself so thin, to focus on family and bills. We did get accepted into our local county HUD housing program and they will assist with a portion of the rent for one year. While this should be a jump for joy, take a breath of air moment it is not. I have spent hours working to continue to pay financial expenses that keep pouring in. The back window busted out of the car. I found out my son cannot resume orthodontic procedures until I can pay $300.00. My husband needs a cell phone repair costing $80.00. My cell phone battery does not last more than 15 minutes at times. The car needs two new tires. We have not completed a single repair since the car got wrecked a couple months ago. The front light is attached with fishing wire, and the front bumper is half missing. The car and it’s driver are the recipient of strange looks everywhere it travels.

Emotionally I am not doing well. Stress causes me to forgo routines, and I have neglected to take my medication properly. I have vowed to begin a correct routine as of today. I will share with you my base line routine next Tuesday during my regular telling time series.

I don’t know if I mentioned that we have condensed ourselves to 600 sq feet townhome, and I thought I was in a state of live in it minimalism, to experience a rude awakening, that we have not. A total of 4 humans, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 1 ferret, and 1 lizard, make for one very packed unorganized space. I spent the last two weeks dog sitting, and dealing with mental health, marriage, and self care issues. It has been communicated to me my husband has a borderline personality disorder, that he does not really seem to want treatment for. Pray for me. Feel free to email any prayer request. Let’s keep moving forward, let’s strive for a positive mental attitude. Let’s move towards the hope of the abundant life that God has for us!

Tired of striving, but I believe!

Hiding in Plain Sight,

Masquerade Jade

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