(I talk about my stewardship of time on Tuesdays, as I heal I am working out a regular writing schedule for this blog.)
Some of my time during the last few months, while in quarantine has been taken up having meaningful conversations. Some conversations include me revealing untold truths to my best friend. Some were with my ex-husband, an attempt to make amends for some of my wrong doings. I also tried to clarify that our marriage didn’t end for the reasons he thinks it did back in 2016.
A step sister with whom I have been estranged for at least 15 years reached out to me. She was concerned as we have not spoken in so long and we live over 800 miles apart. Covid and quarantine life piqued her interest and she wanted to know if we were physically ok and healthy. I wanted to keep her shut out, but I opened up and had some guarded conversation with her over a couple weeks, and she said regardless of life and it’s difficulties and her mother’s perspective, she would always count me as her little sister. I shared only basic information with her and a couple pictures of my kids that she has never met. That conversation began on March 21, 2020.
No malicious words were exchanged. She and I spent most of our formative years together from like 7 to 17, our relationship has been strained for many reasons over the years. She is two years older than I. During our weeks of sporadic conversation one of them involved her letting me know that one of my primary child hood abusers, her brother died. He was 8 years older than me. She knew what he did to me, because for a while he did it to her too, and she was an unwilling instrument in orchestrating my abuse at times. She as his sister is emotionally crushed by the loss and was the only one by his side in hospice as he passed. As a sister I understood her heart ache. She struggles to stay sober. I tried to encourage her in the passing days ensuring her that she is valued.
As most of us experienced isolation, I also found myself reaching out to some people, people I have overlooked in my life. One example is my great aunt. I lost my grandmother almost 15 years ago, and I got so wrapped in the loss of my best friend that in those years, I overlooked the fact that she has remaining family/siblings I could have been in touch with. That is alot of lost time. I could have been have been using my love for her to fuel a relationship with them instead of wrapped in heart ache and only seeing loss. I remember hearing that my great aunt had suffered abuse at the hands of her son last year and tried to commit suicide, so I checked in on her often via Facebook Messenger. I also got her address to send her some encouraging letters or cards when I can. I am so glad I did, I had know way to know that she actually lives completely alone having lost her husband a couple of years ago. What a ray of sunshine each conversation was/is for us both.
There was a fellow sister in Christ that I used to be close to many many years ago, and I believe she lives local and she lost her husband a couple years ago to Leukemia. We had many Facebook messenger conversations, and soon, we will prayerfully have a coffee date.
I also had a second cousin that I had not spoken to in about 10 years reach out to me. I loved catching up finding out how many grandkids she has now and is insanely proud of!
I connected also with two previous co workers from my career with Bank of America that I left in 2005 to be a stay at home mom.
I encourage you, to think about having some of your own meaningful conversations. It may help you reduce your (or someone else’s) anxiety/depression. They can be light fun conversations, or even heavy/healing conversations. A simple hello, can spark a light in someone’s dark. It could also be a matter of your own mental health, to have a conversation with someone outside of your home!
Hiding in Plain Sight,